The American Express

Photo: San Clemente Nikon D-200 F-5.6, 1/640

The American Express

I need more coal, more fuel, can’t you see I’m trying to accomplish something here?

The train screamed down the tracks at a dangerous speed and the race was on. The new conductor cried out to the new engineer- things will be done differently from now on, trust me. I need more coal he said, I have my reasons just get it.

The engine room was a buzz with excitement, never had they seen a more confident and determined conductor. His charismatic speeches soothed their fears and enchanted their dreams. He spoke to his crew, “tell me the condition of MY train” he demanded

The secretary of engineers reported to him. We have 10 first class cars and behind them are 20 coaches, and last are 40 cars carrying standard passengers. Fine he says, “.I know what’s best for all of you and I have a plan to fundamentally change the way this train will be traveling, and where it is going. “ They all begin to look to him with renewed excitement. First thing we must do is tell them, all the passengers, what they want to hear. Everything will be in the open; I will make no changes without everyone first having a chance to review my decision. We will have members from all the cars joining in on the decisions- go tell them that.

Now close those curtains and listen to me. I want you to go to all the standard passengers and tell them that they shall have all that the first class passengers have been enjoying. How unfair has that been anyway? Begin moving the first class passenger back to the standard cars and start moving the lower class passenger up to first class. I know how it should be, just listen to me and do it!

The train kept moving faster and faster, more coal, the conductor cried, we need more. But we are running out of coal, borrow it from another train, and I don’t care how mush it cost, just get it. And tear apart some of our cars and burn them, just get me what I want. Which cars, sir? The ones for our children and grandchildren, I don’t really care just get me more fuel. Can’t you see I’m trying to do something here?

Members of the executive’s car became bloated from feasting and partying. They became bold and demanded new changes, changes that they know their conductor would like. The atmosphere in the executive’s car was intoxicating with success and power. They all began to boast with new found arrogance of their knowledge and power. They know what was best for every passenger, they know more than even the passengers themselves, whom they perceived as simple fools that need to be led...

The brakeman came running into the executive’s office yelling “our brakes can no longer handle this speed, we must slow down immediately he cried” You’re fired, yelled the Conductor. I shall replace you with a brakeman that is not against my goals, one that will report as I tell him. And I will appoint someone for every car that reports only to me.

An important vote was needed to begin implementing the conductor’s new plan. He scoffed at the thought of needing approval, but for now it is as it must be.

Get their price he yelled, I don’t care what it cost, just tell them yes, they will have whatever they want, money is no object. Mr. Conductor, we have one request that is not about money. One car that has had their water cut off is asking for water, they are unemployed and thirsty. The water was needed for the wiggly pollywogs. Just promise them a small amount, I may need that car again for something else, 25% of their original amount should do.

Grumbling began to occur, mostly from the first class and the coach cars. Housewives, farmer, and elderly people, people of all sorts were looking out the windows and crying out; “we are going way too fast”, “we have never gone this way before, there is a dangerous curve up ahead” Many were telling of other trains that have tried this way before, and not one has survived.

Close the curtains to our executive car, and shut them up, I don’t care how, call them names; radicals, terrorist, I don’t care, investigate them if you must, just shut them up. . Can’t they see we are trying to get something done here?

The executives had there music playing with the volume turned all the way up as they danced and drank to their hearts content. The common passengers were ecstatic as they scrambled to all fit into the first class cars. And the rest of the passengers just stared out the windows, some screaming, and some crying.

The train was now heading at speeds that were mush faster than it had ever gone, and the brakes could no longer stop it. The curve up ahead was sharp and the train could not survive. But this is the American Express, it can survive anything, right?

intention

photo- taken in Maine, f-7, 1/80 sec 12mm lens

Journey with me, if you may, through a doorway and into the cavern deep into my mind. The door on the right . I have a room I must show you, I’m very excited ,can’t you tell? Here, this way, I come here often. Look around and tell me what you see. First you will notice that the room is very pleasant and comfortable. See that easy chair next to the window, it’s my favorite, I spend a great deal of time there. Do you see those baskets? they are all filled with seeds. There are seeds of all sorts. I must tell you about them; let’s start with this basket, I have worked on it often, holding it and pondering its possibilities. These seeds are what I will plant if I win the lottery, yes, 10 million or more, than I shall plant these seeds. This one is for those poor people we always read about in foreign countries, I shall send them some money. Imagine what they could do with that, go ahead and imagine, enjoy your imagination, I do all the time. And this seed is my big donation to the church, and this one is for Uncle Phil for his operation, are you feeling the excitement yet?

Now come over here and look at this basket. This one is one of my favorite baskets; these seed are how happy my friend will be to see me. You see, I heard that my friend Joan has multiple sclerosis I haven’t seen her in years and she doesn’t really live that for away. We were very close; she has done so much for me and my family. I can’t wait to see her. But I’ve been real busy lately at work, as soon as I have time, I’m going to go and visit her. It will be real good to see her, I’m sure I can cheer her up; I have so much to tell her.

And before we leave I must show you this basket. These seeds are for my Grandmother, you see, her washing machine doesn’t work. I’m very good at that sort of thing; I know exactly what is wrong with it. I’ve even thought about where I can get the parts. She told me about it last Christmas, gosh, that’s almost a year ago. I’ve just been busy at work. But I’ve been giving it a lot of thought though. There are a lot of things around her place that need fixing, and I’m real good at fixing things around the house.

That’s why I brought you here, I love this place. I spend a lot of time here. I’ve got so many baskets of seed, I could just spend days telling you about them. I guess you can see I’m a pretty compassionate guy. I just wonder where other people spend there time when no one sees them, I can only imagine.

Do you want to hear something real funny? I was taking a walk the other day and saw this man with a very small pouch of seeds, nothing like my big room filled with baskets and baskets of seeds. He was digging in this hard soil, patiently cultivating the soil. He planted one seed, just one, and than watered it. I was somewhat amused by this odd behavior and returned to watch his foolishness, each day he would water and take care of this seed. I just laughed one seed from a very small pouch. I have so many baskets and so many seed, why I bet I could plant a whole orchard if I want to.

I’m glad I’m not like that man, wasting his time with so little. Don't you AGREE?

Have you ever felt a temptation storming within your mind like a raging bull?

Have had a thought or idea in your head that you just couldn't get rid of, no matter how hard you tried?

You don't know where it came from, all you know is it keeps bouncing around your head, like a pin-ball that can't stop scoring pints.

This is just a little thing you may say. A small thing, it can't really matter that much.

Maybe it's stealing someone else's cookie, what harm can that be?

After all, you were unprepared, and it's not that big a deal.

And I'm really hungry!

I'll just do better next time.

Right now I just need to do this, really what harm can come from it?

You might want to reconsider

A Reflection:

Not a Schwinn from Sears

I dedicate this story to all parents especially those that homeschool

I just took my dad out to dinner for his 88^th birthday, God Bless him. I am now going through some boxes in the garage and found this picture of my first bike. Add to that, Connie just attended a mandatory workshop, at her work, on generation difference from the senior to the boomers, X- generation and Y- generation. Yikes!

Seems like a good time for “A Reflection”

The attitude about almost everything has distinctive differences from generation to generation, and the changes don’t seem to be going in a good direction.

Yes, it all can be explained by this bike.

Clearly the bike seems, humm . a little big. You might say!

Well let me tell you the story behind this bike, after all it can explain almost all of our generation difference, that’s what I said, right?

Let’s go back to, let’s say, the year 1957. My dad worked at McCoy Ford, a body shop in Anaheim. On Saturdays, as well as many summer days, I would go to work with my dad. Hang out, watch what was going on, and pound on some metal. But mostly watch how grown-ups and especially dads conducted the business of life. I learned how to follow orders, set goals and complete tasks. I learned how to take pride in your workmanship and help your fellow workers. What do you do when your boss barks out order, how to handle different types of people. And how to solve problems, yourself.

At times my fathers would go purchase parts, often used parts at some junk yard. I learned to haggle and still be honest. I think the most valuable thing I learned working with my dad, besides hard work, was patience. I watched my dad take things apart, like motors, and put them back together. Often, things didn’t always work right the first time, so he would just take it apart again, and again, and sometimes again. My dad could fix anything, and I learned his secret, beside determination, was patience. I wanted that, and now I have it, and it has served me well, in many ways.

I think I better get back to the bike. The bike started out as two bikes. I don’t know where he got the bikes, maybe they were junk, maybe he paid something for them, and it doesn’t really matter. I remember we worked on the bike together, there was disassemble, welding, painting and re-assemble. And boy was it ever the best day of my life when it was all finished. Yes, it was a little big. I figured that out though, I had a milk carton for getting on, and I could get off by glided up next to a curb. If no curb was available, a crash on a lawn would do just fine.

I could go on and on about my childhood, as I’m sure everyone could, but I better get back to that generation thing. The different attitudes from the different generations. The Y’s seems to think the X’s want to micromanage everything in their life. The X’s and the Y’s think the boomers work too hard, they should retire. They think the boomers and seniors are too uptight. The Y’s don’t like making commitments, and believe in complete diversity. They basically feel they are entitled to reap the benefits of the generations that came before them, weather it is wealth and the things that come from wealth or freedom that came from the sacrifices of those men and women that fought and died for our freedom. And to them freedom is interpreted as being free to do as they please. Freedom from rules and even freedom from parental authority. Oops, that last part was a little opinionated. Humm, I think I’m on to something too big for this blog. Lets get back to the bike lesson.

The real reward that comes from the choices parents and grandparents make is not the cell phones, I-pods, computers and other material things we give our children. No the real reward is the character we develop that comes from the way we live our lives. And that’s Something we just can’t give away. It is something we must learn for ourselves. I’m grateful to my dad for that bike. From that bike I learned to fix things. And I learned to solve problems. I just don’t know what I might have learned from my bike if it was a new Schwinn bike from Sears.

Character comes from planting, fruit comes from harvesting. We need both.

Valentine's weekend

photo; HDR image combining 5 exposures at F-22, lens set at 72mm

I started out Friday morning at 6am with my camera, tripod, and coffee. I was hoping to catch the sunlight coming through some arches I had seen off the cliffs of South Corona Del Mar.

Didn't quite work out like I expected, but that's OK.

Photo; HDR image combining 5 exposures, F-7, 24mm

While I was there I photographed some houses. I think that's OK.

Saturday night I took my sweetheart to Cafe Zoolu and than to the Laguna Playhouse to see George Gershwin Alone, both in Laguna Beach. Got some points.

On Valentine's day Connie and I went to the Montage in Laguna Beach to just take a walk

We ran into this young man purposing to his sweetheart, how sweet. So I offered to take their picture. They were very happy. I sent it to them. That's OK I think.

All in All A pretty good weekend

Renewed

photo; cottage at Crystal Cove . Nikon D-200 F10, 1/125 sec lens set at 70mm

My state of being is now the existence beyond my comprehension

I have truly had no experience to match my present situation

I must try to use my imagination to explain my awareness

It is dark, but not completely black

I am crammed tightly in a confined space

The surface around me feels smooth and yet lacks any irregularities

suggesting an opening or way of escape

I sense motion, yet unsure of its meaning

My emotions are mixed, dominated by fear and despair

with an odd feeling of comfort

my fear is that of eminent danger

of a catastrophe about to happen beyond comprehension

or perhaps worst yet, nothing will happen

and I will remain in this prison forever

I ask myself, where am I , how did I get here

I know not where I am, within my confinement nor beyond

am I on a cliff, furied within the earth

or perhaps on the bottom of the sea, I can not know even this.

Yet something tells me I should not be thinking of such things

perhaps I should not be thinking at all

my arms are against my stomach, my knees are against my chest

and I can't even raise my head up fully

I have no abilities and therefore no choices

and if I have no choices what good is my thoughts, but to torment me

perhaps if I were to work very hard within my mind and gained some understanding

could my understanding change anything, could it deliver me

than what good would understanding be, but to torment me

I can think about my dreams, dreams that will never come to be

and what good are thoughts such as there, but to torment me

so now I know that I am imprisoned and with a tormentor, myself and my very thoughts

What is this existence

have I been buried alive in some tomb

will death soon deliver me, I fear not

for not even death can reach me in this place

perhaps my wretched soul is in HELL

can this be hell, shut off from all life with no light

having a mind that works but a body with no life

a mind without love, kindness, compassion, or forgiveness

for I no not even these emotions

they do not exist within my thoughts

nor is there any input to my mind

no experiences to process

only the constant replay of thoughts of myself

no one else exist within my prison, except me and thoughts of me

this must be hell, I've discovered hell

and I fear I shall remain in this state for all eternity

who can save me, can anyone deliver me

oh, wretched soul that I am

I am entombed in my death, a place that even prayer can't reach, I fear

my engulfing thoughts of peril are overwhelming

and yet there does exist a thought of hope, like a seed buried in my cold and barren heart

so I cry out to God and confess that I am a helpless and lost sinner

I beg for forgiveness and invite Jesus into my life to save me from this state of death

and suddenly something begins to happen, a crack has formed

and a sliver of light is now entering my darkness

another crack has appeared, and another

I feel the casing breaking away and light begins to stream in

I see now that the prison that I was in was merely the membrane of an egg

I am free, free indeed

I can move, I am alive, there is light everywhere

it is wonderful, I can see and the beauty I see is beyond any dream I could have had

There is a God and He freed me from my prison

Hey look honey, that man we have been praying for isn't that him going to the alter to

accept Christ

photo; cottage from Crystal Cove and garden walk from Butchart Gardens in Victoria, BC.

7 images of the cottage were taken and blended in hdr process than merged with garden image

Anger

no dog was hurt in this picture, it's all for show

This will be positive, I promise.

"Never go to bed mad, stay up and fight"

Phyllis Diller

When something in our life gets out of balance or a lie becomes our truth, during our childhood, it is far more impacting than when we encounter such things later in life. If you start a journey and you are off in direction just slightly, by just a fraction of a degree, after many years, you will find yourself far off your intended and purposed course. It is like aiming a rifle at a target five feet away, 1 degree off means nothing, but if your target is 5 hundred yards away, you won't even come close. Later in life when we encounter a lie or find something out of balance we quickly sense we have gone off our familiar trail and we seek to make corrections.

When I was young, perhaps 12 or 13, I used to hear my parents and my older sisters yelling and screaming at each other. They would yell cruel words, make threats, and scream hateful things to each other. For some reason this really effected me. I would go into my room and close the door and just listen and feel my stomach turning. I ended up a teenager with bleeding ulcers over this. It effected my attitude toward anger for the rest of my life. I later realized that this behavior between parents and teenagers is not that unusual, and doesn't mean they don't love each other. But for me, my course in regards to expressing emotions now had it's heading; learn self-control and avoid showing emotions especially anger at all cost, you will just hurt others with your selfish outburst. Well there is plenty of good reason to stand firmly on this perspective. The Bible has plenty to say warning us about anger. "Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing" (proverbs 12:18) "An angry man stirs up dissension, and a hot-tempered one commits many sins." (proverbs 29:22) We don't need to look far to see the harm anger can bring. What is anger, but violence and cruelty, right? Actually what I am learning as I try to correct my imbalanced course, is that anger can also be good. Not only that, it is necessary to healthy living. I am learning that anger is just energy. Energy can be used either for good or bad. Like a revved up engine filled with horsepower waiting for our instruction. If we try to hold it all in, it is like holding the clutch on the floor and letting our engine just sit there racing- we will blow a piston sooner or later.

I am learning to welcome the energy from anger and use it in a responsible way. Getting mad at the pile of paper on my desk can make me finally do the filing I have been putting off.

Getting mad when you can't button your pants can be the motivating energy to get you to the gym. Getting mad when you lose a loved one can become the energy to show those remaining in your life how much you love them and appreciate them. It can also be the energy you need to find your God given purpose in life and get yourself busy pursuing that instead of the many endeavors of folly and foolishness that consume our time, before our time is up. Getting mad at those people in your life that you know are harmful to you, can give you the energy to finally put up boundaries in your life to protect yourself from those kind of people. I believe I could go on and on. Jesus got angry at the money changer in the temple who were fleecing those who came to worship Him and he turned over their tables. Learning to not feel guilty about being angry may be the hardest part for me. The key is knowing what is worthy of our anger and what to do when we are angry. I know that many people are challenged with trying to control their anger. But for me, I have to learn to allow anger into my life.

I think this quote from Martin Luther King puts it best;

I never work better than when I am inspired by anger; for when I am angry, I can write, pray, and preach well, for then my whole temperament is quickened, my understanding sharpened, and all mundane vexations and temptations depart.- Martin Luther

Please hit comment and share your thoughts-Thanks for taking the time to read this.